Found on the side of the road

Most people that have known me for any amount of time know that I am adopted. And if you know my brother, Craig, then you may believe that I was found on the side of the road as a baby (his story on this is very convincing!). Most people even know that I know my birthmother. But this area of my life is the one that is most often asked about, so I thought I would share my story.

My birthmother, Sherry, gave birth to me when she was very young. She wouldn't have been able to give me the life that she wanted for me, so she put me up for adoption. ULTIMATE SACRIFICE FOR THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR CHILD. So from the hospital, I went to foster care where I lived with Richard and Avon Adams for a month. The first month of my life my name was Joy Adams. From what I understand, I was the first baby the Adam's fostered, and they went on to foster kids for 15-20 years after that!

My parents got me one month and 2 days after I was born. I think that they always told me that I was adopted, so it wasn't like a "hey, you know how you thought we were your birth parents, WELL, WE'RE NOT" kind of thing! They always told me that my birth mother was very young when she had me and loved me very much but couldn't keep me. I understood and was very thankful for the parents God chose for me.

Getting into my teenage years I remember walking around the mall and thinking, 'that woman looks like me, she could be my mom'. I didn't feel like I was missing out by not knowing, but I was naturally curious about where I came from. When I was little I LOVED Olivia-Newton John and I thought I sang just like her (HA!!), so I was pretty sure she was my birth mother! Oh, and several people told me that I looked like Sarah Jessica Parker, so I was sure that she was my sister! So imagine my disappointment when I met my birth mother and she wasn't even famous! (haha)

My parents always told me that we could start trying to find my birth mother when I turned 18. I didn't understand their reasoning for that then, but I certainly do now. So after I turned 18, the search was on! We contacted the adoption agency from where I came.   Because it was a closed adoption, we couldn't meet unless both sides went to the agency and said that if the other wanted to meet, they did too. My parents and I made a trip to the agency in Dallas and while we were there we found out that my birth mother had been in a year before that saying that she wanted to meet if I did. They were able to give me lots of non-identifying information about her and her family, and even a few pictures. OK, seeing pictures of my birth mother, COOLEST THING EVER!! And I found out I had 2 sisters, which was also very exciting because I had always wanted sisters. The agency contacted my birth mother after that visit, and she agreed to meet me! They gave us each others phone numbers and we were able to talk a few times before we met, which was really neat, but talk about being nervous about a phone call!!

The day we met was the day after my senior prom. My parents and I went in for a required hour of counseling at the agency before they were supposed to get there. So we're sitting there doing our counseling and I start hearing voices outside the door! I knew it was her. The woman I'd been wanting to see my whole life was on the other side of the door, and I don't think I heard another word that was said in that room until the words "are you ready to meet your birth mother?" was said.

Wow, this post is long! Sorry.

So we went out into the lobby area and all hugged and said hello. It wasn't like Oprah's surprise reunions where people are crying and shaking and about to pass out. It was so much to take in at the time, it was almost just shock. Sherry's husband accepted me as if I were his own. I love him for that. He could have SO easily told her that he didn't want all of this to happen. Marty, you're my hero for letting this happen. We left the adoption agency and followed them to their house in Mesquite where we looked at family scrapbooks and several people stopped in to meet me. I really enjoyed getting to meet my little sisters, Reva and Melissa, too. They were just as excited about getting a big sister as I was about getting 2 little sisters.It was a long day. It was a good day.

A question I get a lot is "how do your mom and dad feel about Marty and Sherry?" My answer is that they were awesome through the entire process. They understood me wanting to know, and it was never a question of them trying to step in and raise me because I was already 18. I owe them a HUGE thank you for allowing me to do this. It affected my life in only a positive way.

So where are we now? We are friends. Really good friends. We only get to see each other a few times a year, but we keep in touch pretty regularly and see each other as often as possible. We can talk and laugh for hours on end. We really have the best time when we get together. My kids are lucky to have 3 sets of grandparents. And my husband is lucky to have 2 sets of in-laws. :) 

I do know who my birth father is and I have met him and talked to him a few times. He is my friend on facebook, but we don't really keep up with each other.  He is married and has 2 sons. I hope that someday maybe we can be closer, but for now, this is where we are.

So if my brother, Craig, ever tells you that I was found on the side of the road, you'll know the real story...

                                                        


Sherry and I last year



Reva, myself, and Melissa