You Know You Live in the Country When...

It's been 3 years this month since Robbie and I were riding in a car with a realtor heading out to look at some land we were thinking about buying. I had never been to the part of town where we were going, but I remember feeling car sick on the way out and telling the realtor that I would never consider living out that far and he could just turn his car around and head back somewhere closer to a Wal-Mart. But he convinced me that this land is worth driving out and looking at, so I agreed that I would give it a try.


When we got to the land I absolutely fell in love with it. It was advertised as "park like setting" and when we saw it that's exactly what I thought about. So we bought that land and 6 months later put a trailer house on it. I knew that if this was something I was going to agree to, I didn't want us to sink a lot of money into it before I knew if I could stand to live this far out. And here we are, over 2 years later, building our dream house on that land and only days away from moving in.

And until tonight, I haven't been bothered at all by the fact that we are a little "out in the middle of no where".

Did you catch that "until tonight" part?

I enjoy seeing deer in my driveway when I come home at night. I enjoy my boys having 50 acres to ride their 4-wheelers on. I enjoy having a pond we can fish in anytime we want.

What I do not enjoy is my child coming into the house at night and yelling, "dad, get your gun! There are two hogs standing right outside the door!"

Rob and I were in the new house cleaning up and Rob had asked Aaron to run over to the trailer house to get him a towel. But when Aaron opened the door, there were two, very large, hogs standing there looking at him. Poor kid was scared to death and will probably not step foot alone outside this house in the dark for as long as he lives.

The back of our new house is only about 30 feet from the front door of our trailer house, and there were two hogs just hanging there out like they owned the place. Robbie needed to get to the trailer to get a gun, and he had to walk right by those hogs to get there. They didn't attack or run off, they were just doing their thing. (Whatever it is that hogs do.) (I'm not really sure because I had a child that needed calming down and I was sure not about to play the part of hero on this gig.)

Aaron, Austin, and I gathered around a window in the back of the new house (which was only about 10 feet from the hogs) and we saw Robbie step out on the front porch of the trailer with his gun. This is when I start thinking, "if this had happened a year ago I wouldn't have set my dream house right here in the middle of hog land".

So at this point the hogs are still between the house and trailer, but walking closer to the shop. The boys and I all jump when Rob makes the first shot.

One pig down. One to go. (Oh please let there only be the one other pig out here!)

The hog that is still alive walks away for a second, but then goes back to check on his buddy. Rob had stepped back into the trailer to reload the gun. The boys and I are still glued to the window, praying that dead hog doesn't come back to life and kill us all.

Or that's what I was thinking.

Austin was probably thinking this is the coolest thing that has happened in his life so far, and Aaron was still shaking like a leaf because it's just not normal to step out of your house and see hogs.

I know we live in Arkansas and everything, but y'all, it really is NOT normal.

Anyway, back to the unfolding drama.

Rob steps back out on the porch and watches the pig as he circles his friend. I look at Rob, I look at the pig. Who will win this?

Rob shoots. Rob wins. Pig number 2 is down. He was not as ok with dying as his friend was, so he required a few more shots. I needed to know he was dead. DEAD. Not just knocked out.

Can I just brag on my man's shooting ability for a second? He was shooting from the front porch of our trailer, at a pig that is only inches from his shop, and just a few feet away from our new house (that I am now considering selling and moving back somewhere closer to a Wal-Mart). (Because I'm pretty sure you won't see wild pigs hanging around outside of Wal-Mart.) Anyway, we made it through with just 2 dead hogs (Hogs or pigs? Is there a difference?) and no broken windows, no holes in the side of the shop, nothing.

Ya did good Rob. And I hope someday I'll be brave like you and walk right past hogs (hogs, pigs... ok, now it's bothering me that I don't know this) to go get my gun and protect my family.

Well, no I don't. That's why I have you.

Why does it completely crack me up that there are so many people willing to leave their house at 9:00 at night to pick up and process these pigs? I understand that I have been completely stressed this week and overly tired, but as I'm sitting here typing my family is all asleep and I. Cannot. Quit. Laughing.

But at the same time thinking, "ok, I'm done with country life. What's for sale by Wal-Mart?" :-/

*UPDATE*

A dear friend of mine called me this morning after reading this post and said that she was pretty sure these were her parents (who live near us) pet hogs. They have been getting out of their fence and she even almost called me yesterday to let me know that they were having trouble keeping them in and to not shoot if we saw them. I am just sick about this because they belonged to sweet, sweet people that would do anything in the world for you and they love my dog as if she were their own. On one hand I have peace of mind that we don't have to start worrying about wild hogs coming up this close to the house, but on the other hand, we killed their pets and it makes me so very sad for them and their grandchildren that played with the hogs as if they were dogs. We've had no experience with hogs of any kind and didn't for a second consider that they belonged to someone.

Steve and Cheryl, we are truly very sorry that we took your pets from you.

RIP Charlie and Rudy