To Austin, on your 16th...

Dear Austin, 

Welcome to the age of your first taste of true independence. 16 is a big deal. You'll get your license, which opens the door to so many more freedoms. You'll get your first debit card, which will teach you money management in a whole different way. You'll be presented with opportunities that you can't even foresee at this point. You'll more than likely have days where you're pretty sure you know more than dad and I. And then you'll be humbled when you realize you really do still need us. You'll start thinking more seriously about your future and where you want to be and what you want to do in the coming years. You have so many great things coming your way! 

But let's take a minute to reflect on all the things you did and learned during your 15th year of life. 

Your first big decision as a 15 year old was to drop out of band and put all of your effort into theatre. You took a chance and tried about for Puffs last fall, and ended up loving every minute you got to spend with your theatre family. While I hated to see you leave something you were so talented in, I understood and respected your decision to get out of band. That just goes to show you that God often has different plans that we have for ourselves, but those plans are often far better than anything we could have imagined. You will find this is true throughout your entire life. 

While you're much more comfortable on the tech side of theatre, I'm so proud of you for stepping up and acting, when needed. Your flexibility opens the door for so many opportunities and allows you to participate in every area of theatre. The friendships you have made and continue to make will help shape who you are and who you will become, and it's been so fun to get to know so many of your friends. 

This year has been an adjustment from driving you everywhere myself to letting you drive much of the time and also letting you ride with friends, since many of your friends are driving now. You have no idea how many prayers have been said on your behalf every time you get behind the wheel and every time you get into a vehicle with a friend. And I know that those prayers will increase 10-fold during this next year when I will no longer be in the vehicle with you to put on my own imaginary brake, tell you to slow down, or say "that's you" when you need to just gas it and go. 

You wanted a new computer this year, but instead of letting me get you a new laptop, you ordered all the parts you needed and together with your friend Brett (and a little help from his dad), you proceeded to build your own for 1/2 the cost of a new one. I still don't understand how someone even knows how to do that, but you love your computer and use it daily. I'm not sure I ever even told you this, but I am so proud of this accomplishment and I just think it's the coolest thing. 

Over the summer (even though you hesitated every time Uncle Johnny asked), you agreed to work at church camp as a counselor for the little kids, and you absolutely rocked that role. I received many texts throughout the week from people that were there with you letting me know how good of a job you were doing. You didn't want to do it because you said you didn't know what to do with kids, but you showed (and learned for yourself) that you are a natural with them. When dad and I picked you up on Friday, the kids were sad to leave you. That's a sign of a great counselor! I'm so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and just doing it!

Words of advice for your 16th year:

You've never been one to feel as if you needed a girlfriend to be complete, and that's one of the many things I love about you. My advice on dating in high school is to not tie yourself to one person too early. It's completely ok to take a girl out to dinner and not end up boyfriend/girlfriend by the end of the night. You are still learning who you are, so there's no way that you should already know exactly what you're  looking for in a girlfriend at this point. Most people don't find their spouses in high school anyway, so use this time as a learning opportunity to discover what types of girls you enjoy hanging out with and what you want and don't want in a girlfriend. 

Don't ever feel like you have to act a certain way or participate in certain things to be loved or accepted. The right people will love and respect you for your differences. 

Realize that grades aren't everything, but they are still important. Once you make the grades, your permanent records can not be changed. Learn to use your time wisely now, and it'll be easier for you in college. If you have an assignment due in 2 weeks, begin it when you find out about it. If you've got something that you're given a specific time to memorize lots of information (umm, hello polyatomic ions), begin it NOW! Putting things off until the last minute just makes it harder on yourself later on.

As you begin exploring your new-found independence that comes with having a license, please remember that you're going to want to do things and go places that we may not approve of. Even when you don't understand our reasoning, all we ask is that you respect and trust us enough to know that we can see potential dangers in things that you may not be able to see. We have spent the past 15 years making sure that you are safe, and we're not about to stop now. And I promise it's because we love you, not because we hate you and wish a miserable life on you. And the argument "everyone else is doing it" won't work, and may very well be the reason you don't get to do it. 

Continue to shine God's light in every aspect of your life. Don't ever be afraid to make the right choice, even if you're made fun of for it. And if you are made fun of for it, those aren't your people. I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that this year you will have opportunities to drink, vape, cheat, go too far with a girl, cuss, ALL THE THINGS, so go ahead and prepare yourself with how you will handle these situations. Participating in these things as a teenager are a pretty fast way to screw up your own life. No one gets to decide things for you but YOU! I would encourage you to add Casting Crowns song, Slow Fade on your regular playlist to be reminded that that is how Satan works. Be careful little eyes what you see. Be careful little feet where you go. Be careful little ears what you hear. Issues that you now see as black and white, wrong or right, can easily turn gray and a feeling of "maybe it's not THAT bad"... Set boundaries for yourself in all areas and don't cross them. Think of them as guardrails on the side of bridges. You may hit the guardrails every once in a while, but having them there will keep you from falling off the path. Dad and I won't be there to make these choices for you. This is YOUR faith, not ours. God is good and He has got you. 

Continue to be confident in who you are. Laugh at and learn from your mistakes. You're not perfect and never will be, but how you react to mess-ups helps build character and molds you even more into who you are becoming. Don't be afraid to step up and be a leader when no one else does. I have seen a natural ability in you for this, and I pray you never lose the confidence to do this. You don't have to be perfect or even great at something to lead, you just have to step up and work through it with the help of others. 

It has been an honor to get to be your mom for 15 years now, and I couldn't be more excited about your future. You are going to do big things, I just know it! 16 can be a fun, but tough year. Dad and I are your biggest fans. Put God first, spend more time reading the Bible than on Snapchat, pray (a lot), seek wisdom from others that have been there, and know that most things that happen in high school that you may think are just horrible won't even matter to you by the same time next year. I'm so very proud of you. Oh, I almost forgot... make smart choices. :)

I love you,

Mom

To Aaron, on your 21st...

 Dear Aaron,

Every year I honestly can't believe how old you are, but 21 hits different. This puts you in an entire different category. You are now legally a full adult. Your license will change, your rights will change, and your opportunities will change. It's so much all at one time. But (strangely enough), I'm not having a hard time with it this year...

And here is why...

You spent your 20th year of life discovering more of who you are and who you will become, and I really like that guy. You've been able to travel from the east coast to the west coast and so many places in between this year. You've met new people and deepened friendships with others. Through all of these experiences, you've proved to me over and over that you are ready for all of the things adulthood will bring. You've had to make big, hard decisions already and those have all ended well for you. You've chosen to take the hard road when the easy road was so tempting. You've acted in ways that showed you were thinking about what was best for you in the long run over what you really wanted in the now. This is how I know you're ready for 21. Your adulting skills are already ON POINT.

While doing all of that, you seem to have realized the importance and the blessing of having your two parents still married to each other, all grandparents, aunts, and uncles still living, and no major deaths or horrible things that you've had to deal with. This is actually rare for someone your age. Life won't always be like this and I truly believe that you know this and can see the value in what you've got. I'm so thankful that you have made a point to visit your grandparents when you could and let me and Dad hang out with you on our Searcy weekends. I think the trip we took this summer may have even helped you realize that you've got a pretty cool brother, too! Life is so short and we never know when our time on Earth is over. Your family has been there for you since day one, and I love that you continue to realize the importance of them (us) in your life. 

 Our job as parents was to raise you to love Jesus, be a good human, be independent, and one day become a successful member of society. Sometimes I think we may have done too good a job on you. You seem to realize the importance of attending worship, praying, and just keeping Jesus in all of your decisions. You're insanely independent and find a way to make your own money, even when you're not employed. You get along with people extremely well, no matter their age or status. And you have already become a successful member of society, even while still attending college. Proud is not a big enough word for how I feel. 

Many of the pictures I used in this letter came from other people because I wasn't there to get to see it all, but please know that through all of your adventures, your parents are over here cheering you on every single day. We pray constantly for you. I often pray for God to give you wisdom to be able to do well in your classes. I pray that He keeps you safe on all of your travels, whether you're going somewhere on a plane or driving hours down the road to buy or sell a boat. I pray that He guards your heart and keeps you from bad things. I pray for your wife, and that He reveals to you who that will be when the time is right and when your heart is ready for that. I pray for your peace, because college isn't easy and down time can be hard to find sometimes. More than anything, I pray that you will always put God first because everything else will work itself out beautifully if you do that. 

In high school, we got a chance to really get to know and love all of your friends. Our house was the house they all came to. Some even moved in with us for different amounts of time. Some came to Dad and I for advice. All of them walked right into our house like it was theirs. They knew that we would love and accept them (and even correct them, when needed) and we loved that so much. When you got out of high school, our fear is that we wouldn't get to really know any of your college friends. BUT GOD. We love getting texts from your college friends and also love that they just walk right into our Searcy house the way your high school friends did at our Genoa house. We love your friend group. Please don't take these relationships for granted. I graduated from college 25 years ago and still keep up with my core friend group from Harding. These are the relationships that will last a lifetime. You just thought you were growing up with your high school friends.  The big growth actually happens in college, when adult choices begin coming at you left and right and you need others on the same path to help you out. You've got a great group. I pray that your group will continue to grow closer together as you all grow closer to God over the next year and a half.  

I tried to come up with some kind of "wisdom for a 21-year-old", but I can't think of anything to tell you that you don't already know. There are some things that you will just have to learn on your own but whatever it is, Dad and I are here and it's quite possible we've been through it ourselves and would love to help you through it. My biggest advice will always be to make yourself look more like Jesus with every year that passes. If you do that, you'll be amazed at how things will fall into place more easily.

My second piece of advice is to be bold. Don't be afraid to go after what you want. And don't EVER think you are not good enough to get or have whatever that may be. You are a child of the king and you ARE good enough. Sometimes that may mean that you have to be vulnerable, and that's ok. Putting yourself out there without having a clue how it will be received is a huge part of adulting, and having the self-confidence to handle it when it doesn't turn out the way you want is building character, and often times preparing you for something better that you could've ever imagined for yourself. Your worth does not come from people or status, but from God, and no one gets to take that away from you. 

Just as your 20th year of life was fun and full of learning new things and visiting new places, I have no doubt that your 21st will be just as great. I can't wait to see all of the pictures that I'll put on your 22nd birthday letter. This time next year you will be almost out of college and thinking more about your future. I hope that you don't stress over what you will do with your life or where you will end up. God has a really cool way of revealing His plans for you exactly in the moment you need it to happen.

You are, by far, one of my most favorite people to be around. You have a heart of gold and you're so gifted in so many areas. You can do anything you set your mind to. In just the past year or two you've learned how to fix boats, build walls, lay floor, build corn hole boards, change brake pads, pay rent on time, fix motorcycles, how to travel in a pandemic, and have greatly improved your wood-working skills. And all of that is separate and apart from what you're learning in your classes. You are well-rounded and I love that you don't put all your eggs in one basket. You are a natural entrepreneur, and you come by that honestly. 

I hope and pray that your 21st year of life is exactly what you want and need for it to be. Dad and I couldn't possibly be more proud of the man that you are. 

Happy 21st birthday, Aaron. I've dreaded this number for years, but as it turns out, having an adult child is kinda cool. 

I love you,

Mom