To Austin, on your 13th...

Dear Austin,

You are 13 years old today. I don't know how in the world this happened so quickly, but here we are. You're no longer a little kid, but not yet a man. This in-between part can be hard, weird, and confusing. It is mine and dad's job to make this part of your life as smooth as possible, while making sure you turn out to be a decent human being who is able to become a productive member of society. Here is some advice for your 13th year of life: 

Continue to practice your trumpet. Music is your gift. Don't be afraid to try music that looks too hard. Take it a measure at a time and make yourself better. You have to practice 20 minutes a day, anyway, may as well make it worth your time. 

Don't assume you know more than we do or you can't tell us about something because we may not understand. Dude. We've been there. Not only have dad and I both lived through age 13, we also managed to somehow get Aaron through that age successfully. There's not much that you can tell us or ask us about that we don't know anything about, and we are both willing to find out about it if we don't know. 

 If you say or text anything to a girl, assume her momma is going to hear it or see it, because if the girl gets mad at you for something, she will probably show her mom. Text messages are just like the internet, they are written in ink and will most certainly come back to haunt you.

Keep reading. Whether it's the newspaper, your current favorite author or book series, or the news app, keep it up! You've worked so hard to become a good reader, and I am so proud of what you have accomplished so far!

Be thankful for your family. You are blessed with grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles that love you unconditionally. Don't ever take this fact for granted. Spend as much time with them as you can because you never know how much time any of us have left on this Earth. 

Spend a lot of time living real life to its fullest, and very little time in the virtual world that is XBOX. Video games are not real life, and it is not good for that to become what you think real life should be like. Get outside, be physically active, set some goals, and become stronger. 

You will make mistakes and you will mess up. The true character of a person is in how they handle their screw-ups. Own up to your mistakes, apologize for them, and do all that you can to make things right. 

Here's a fun (NOT) thing that also tends to really pick up around age 13: PEER PRESSURE. Ugh. The thought alone makes me want to march right up to the school right now, check you out, and keep you home with me until the frontal lobe portion of your brain has fully developed. The people you choose to spend your time with can heavily influence what type of person you become. Choose wisely. Be confident enough in yourself to say no to them without feeling the need to offer them an excuse. Your excuse can always be that you are simply better than those choices. You are better because you KNOW better. It will be so difficult, but pray and let God fight your battles for you. He is capable of anything you ask of Him.

Be a leader in church. Whether it's volunteering to lead a prayer or read scripture out loud, just do it. You will one day be the leader of your own home, and your wife deserves a man who is not afraid to serve the Lord out loud. 

 A few words about social media: First of all, let me say that I am SO thankful that social media wasn't a thing when I was 13. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat...NONE of these were words that even existed when I was your age. Now they are a part of everyday language, and if you don't have all of it you think you must be missing out. Even though most social media sites allow you to create an account at age 13, I don't believe 13 year olds (or even 16 year olds for that matter) are ready for the responsibilities that come with having a social media account. There are good things about it, but there are also very negative things. At your age, I believe the negative outweighs the good. Posting pics and videos of yourself needs to be completely thought through with a fully functioning brain because things posted on the internet does not go away. Once it's posted, it cannot ever fully be erased. Believe me, one day when you're running for President you'll thank me.

Austin, you are one of my very favorite people to be around. You are kind and thoughtful. You are great at anticipating someone's needs and jumping in to meet those needs before even being asked. You have a heart of gold. You are amazing with people and relationships. You have the best laugh. You are so fun to sing along with in the car and you know ALMOST as many songs as I do. I want so badly to protect you from anything and anyone that may hurt you, but I can't do that. You know right from wrong and you are the only one that can answer for your choices. Choose wisely and let God lead you. And pray. A lot. You have no idea how much I love you. Happy birthday to you! 

Love, 
Mom

To Aaron, on your 18th...

Dear Aaron,

You've finally reached the day you've been looking forward to since you could understand what age meant. You are 18 today. I'm a little confused because you've been saying that you were moving to Alaska on your 18th birthday, but my Life 360 says that you're at school. I guess you be up traveling late tonight. Alaska is cold. Take a coat. 

Even though I know in my mind that you are now 18, I still see a little boy. I see the little boy that dad and I brought home from the hospital that loved to sleep between him mom and dad and cried (screamed actually) if he was anywhere else. 

I see the little boy that loved listening to music and singing along with what he thought the words may be (holiness and holy nest are almost the same). 

I see the stubborn little boy that refused to get into the swimming pool at swimming lessons, so his momma got her money back and taught him at home within one week. 

I see the little boy that spent hours on a little red jeep in the back yard in his Blues Clues underwear and rubber boots. 

I see the little boy that was fearlessly barrel racing at age 5. 

I see the little boy that would only do things in his own time and in his own way...which drove me to reading books like "The Strong Willed Child" just to make it through the potty training season of life. 

I see the little boy that learned to love soccer and became a greater kicker during those years out at Grady Wallace Park.

I see the little boy that was always excited to go to his grandparents house and play with cousins. He loved Easter egg hunting, playing in Memaw's playhouse, playing pool, and opening brand new toys every Christmas. 

Aaron, you are now legally an adult. You can vote. You can buy a house. You can go to R rated movies. You can get married. You can get a tattoo and body piercings. You can join the military. You can donate blood. You can work full time. You can play the lottery. You can apply for credit cards. You can change your name. You can adopt a child. Now, unless you are actually moving to Alaska today, you can NOT do some of these things while still living under our roof. But this is how free will works. There is a world of choices out there that you will have to make for yourself. Even though I would love to continue to tell you what you can and cannot do, we are coming to a time where your choices are completely yours. Here is my piece of advice for this year: When faced with hard choices or decisions that cause you internal conflict, always choose the one that will bring you closer to God, and in everything you do, think "Is this what I want to be doing when Jesus comes back?" If the answer is no, then you should probably make a different choice. 

When I write this letter to you next year, I don't know where you'll be living, who you will be living with, or how far away you will be from me and dad. It's quite possible I won't even get to see you on your actual birthday. But I do know that the years we've had together under the same roof have been amazing. I'm not a perfect mom, but I've done as well as I've known how. You've taught me how to be a mom. I've learned more from you than you'll ever realize. Thank you for making my life so hard the first 5 years of your life. I learned so much during that time about myself. Dad and I have messed up and apologized more times than we can count, but the way that you live your life makes us think that maybe we have also done something right. Don't ever be afraid to just be you. You are made in God's image, and you are amazing. You have a big fan club in the stands every Friday night, and you have a big fan club cheering you on in your life beyond those Friday night games. You are deeply loved and valued by so many and are prayed for more than you can imagine.  Happy 18th birthday, Aaron. I can't wait to see what you do with your life. 

I love you, 

Mom

P.S. Make smart choices.