17 years later...

It has been 17 years since we said "I do". It was not the best day of my life, as many think their wedding day will be. I had been up most of the night before crying and worried about a flower situation that presented itself during the rehearsal, so sleep hadn't really happened for me. My mom and I had to make an early morning trip to Texarkana from DeKalb to find a flower shop to fix my flower 'situation' before I could even begin getting myself ready for the wedding. I had been planning our wedding for 6 months, complete with a notebook separating each category including magazine articles and pictures all about what I wanted for our special day. It was supposed to be perfect. But with the lack of sleep, the flower situation, and a little unidentified "chill-out" pill that I took that day, it was not my vision for what a perfect wedding day would be like. The only reason I would put it in my top 10 favorite days would be because we began that day as boyfriend and girlfriend, and we ended that day as husband and wife. Even though I don't remember saying "I do" (Did I mention the chill-out pill?), I'm pretty sure that I said it and here we are 17 years later and....I still do. I also now realize that it was not about the wedding day, it was about the commitment that was made on that day, which makes me want to go back and tell my 21 year old self that THE FLOWERS DON'T EVEN MATTER. 

What do I have to say about being married 17 years later? It is hard. And it requires more work than any paying job I ever had. There have been times that I've wanted to walk away from it all, and I'm sure he has had those days too. What I have learned is this: Marriage has to remain a priority. Date nights are a must. Honesty is a must. Hand-holding is a must. Humility is a must. Flirting with each other is a must. Patience is a must. Respect is a must. A strong relationship with God is a must. Divorce is not an option. Ever.

I really don't even know where to start with my husband. He spoils me rotten. Just a few weeks ago, he was in his truck and I was in my car and we were driving home, but he somehow knew that I needed gas in my car (which is quite impressive because I had no idea I needed gas) (but this is why I need him). So as we were driving home on the interstate, he called me and to tell me to take the next exit because he wanted to fill my car up with gas for me so I didn't have to mess with it the next day. Y'all. I know how to put gas in my car. And, I've never once complained about filling my car up with gas (other than the fact that I would rather spend that money on something of actual value to me). Living out in the country and driving to town several times a week, getting gas is as much as part of life as shooting guns and riding 4-wheelers. But on this day, he wanted to do it for me. There was no motive behind it. He was just naturally doing what he does best: taking care of me. 

But life is far from perfect. It is real life. There are so many obstacles that could easily take us down if we let them. We both have jobs. I'm in grad school and have spent hours completely checked out from my family just to get homework done. He's an extrovert, I'm an introvert. We haven't had any luck growing trees that produce money. I don't like to cook, but he likes to eat more than just cereal. He's a morning person, I'm a night person. I could go on and on. Every couple has their 'stuff', but what I love about our 'stuff' is that it's OURS, not just mine alone or his alone to carry. When I've had a bad day, my husband is my soft place to fall. When he's had a bad day, I want to hear about it. He is my biggest fan, and I am his. Through all of these little life imperfections, we become closer. In a world of constant changing, he is my constant. We value our relationship and realize the importance of connecting, and we put effort into our relationship continually. I consider myself blessed to be going through this 'stuff' with someone who is willing to share the load with me. 

Rob, we have been through some hard times since our care-free college days, and I know that there are many more heartaches along our pathway, but I wouldn't want to be going down this path with anyone else in the world. We have grown up together throughout these 17 years. You love God, you love me, and you love our boys. Thank you for that. I am a better person because of you. You are so good to us and I thank you for that. I couldn't ask for anything else and I am so lucky to be able to call myself your wife. 

Even though I don't completely remember saying "I do" 17 years ago...